It's Not The Water

I thought I would do something today to feel a little alive

like maybe eat some popcorn or have a slushy;

roll the window down and turn the music up.

But those are little tricks

and they don’t work all the time.

I suppose they’re decent reminders though,

better than nothing.

The ironic thing, well, one of the ironic things

is that the medicine that’s supposedly killing the cancer,

or that I hope is killing the cancer,

is killing everything

and I am fully aware of this.

It’s like losing my hair;

not that I mind being bald

because it’s summer and I look like that dude on Breaking Bad.

But it’s too obvious to not notice…

that sort of thing.

It’s like how something once pleasant

like smelling a nice cup of coffee

makes me want to lose my breakfast

before I’ve even had breakfast

and that’s how the day’s going to go

and I know it before I even get out of bed.

I’m supposed to choke down these four pills in the morning

and then four identical pills in the evening, with food,

and of course the pills don’t have a taste…

you swallow them

with water

and that shouldn’t be so bad.

But the water tastes terrible.